Humorous Grumpy Old Men Jokes – Physical Exam “Nothing”

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Grumpy Old Man Funny Jokes: A Tale of a Jar and a Sperm Sample!

An 85-year-Grumpy Old Man was told by the Doctor that he needed a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the old man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a sperm sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 85-year-Grumpy old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

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The doctor asked what happened and the old man explained, “Well, doc, it’s like this first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. ‘Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.


“We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”

The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbour?”
The Grumpy old man replied,

“Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”

Grumpy old man jokes

Funny old men jokes about being Grumpy. Read some more jokes to make a grumpy person laugh.

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And read some of our other Funny Jokes

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