“An older lady gets pulled over by an officer for speeding”…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were kinda speeding.
Older Woman: Oh really, I see.
Officer: Can I see your driver license please?
Older Woman: I would sure like to give it to you but I don’t have it anymore.
Officer: Don’t have it anymore?
Older Woman: Yes I lost it about 5 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: Oh I see… Then can I see your vehicle registration papers please Ma’am.
Older Woman: I’m sorry, but I can’t do that either.
Officer: And why not Ma’am?
Older Woman: Well officer, I stole this car last night.
Officer: You stole it?
Older Woman: Yes officer, and I also killed and hacked up the owner of the car.
Officer: You did what?
Older Woman: I hacked him up and put his body parts in plastic bags in the trunk if you would like to see?

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly walks away to his patrol car and starts calling for back up. Within a few minutes 4 police cars circle the car. One of the senior officers then slowly approached the car, with his half drawn gun.
Senior officer: Ma’am, could you please slowly step out of your vehicle please!
The old woman steps slowly out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Senior officer: Well Ma’am, one of my officers told me that you stole this car and murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered and hacked up the owner?
Senior officer: Yes Ma’am, so could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The old woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Senior officer: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes officer, here are the registration papers.
The senior officer is quite stunned.
Senior officer: Ma’am. One of my officers claims that you don’t have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out her purse and hands it to the officer.
The senior officer looks at the license. And now he looks quite puzzled.

Senior officer: Thank you very much ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner leaving his body parts in the trunk.
Older Woman: I bet that that liar told you I was speeding, too.

HAVE SOME MORE LAUGHS BELOW!
And read some of our other Funny Jokes

Don’t Mess With Old Ladies