Young people are not the only people that put up personal ads. Old men and women do too! And that they have a very good sense of humor goes without saying. Here are some very funny classifed ads placed by actual senior citizens in Florida plus a couple of personal ads from Arizona.

Male, 1922, high mileage, reasonable condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.

Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband trying to find someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not an issue.

I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you’re the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out, and luxuriate in quiet times.

Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a fervent flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob, and caramel candy.

I still wish to rock, still wish to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights, and still wish to play the guitar. If you were a cool chick, or are now a cool hen, let’s get together and hear my eight-track tapes.

Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5′ 4″ (used to be 5′ 6″), looking for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can still remember Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
80-year-old, bubbly, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can’t I?

Wanted: Bonded escort, silver-haired (not dyed), two days every week for 3 active ladies, eighty-plus. Should look rich (but not too rich). Politically conservative. Good hand at bridge and waltzer. Sharp enough to handle six Bingo cards without issues. Prefer chauffeur’s license, L.P.N., and Black Belt in karate.

We hope they each found someone!

And read some of our other Funny Jokes

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