Best divorce letter ever

Best divorce letter to Wife

My dear Wife, I wrote you this letter to let you know that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve always been a good husband to you for more than 9 years and I have nothing to show for it. The last few months have been hell. … I had a call from your boss telling me that you quit your job today and that really was the last straw for me.

Just a week ago, after you came home, you didn’t even notice that I had a complete new haircut, made you your favorite dinner and even bought and wore, new silk boxers. You ate your dinner in 4 minutes, and then went to bed and fell asleep right after watching all your favorite soaps.

Also you never tell me that you love me; you never want to have sex or anything else that connects us as man & wife. So, either you’ve been cheating on me or you really don’t love me anymore; whichever it is, I’m now leaving you.

Kind regards, your now Ex-Husband

P.S. don’t think of trying to find me, cause your SISTER and I are moving far far away from here together! So have a great life!

Best divorce letter to Husband

My dear now Ex-Husband Receiving your letter has really made my day. I agree that we have been married for 9 years, but a good man? No, a good man is a far cry from what you have been to me. The reason I watch so many soaps is because they drown out the constant whining & griping from you Too bad only that that didn’t really work.

And btw, I DID notice your new hair cut last week, but the first thing that I thought of was ‘Now you look just like a woman!’ And because my mom raised me to not say anything if you haven’t got something nice to say, I didn’t react. And when you made me my favorite dinner, you probably got me confused with MY SISTER, because I haven’t been eating pork since 9 years ago.

And about the new silk boxers: I turned away from you because you forgot to remove the 49.99 price tag, and I was just praying that it was just a coincidence that my sister had borrowed 50 from me just the day before. Even after all of that, I still loved you and thought we should be able to work it out.

So when I won10 million in the lotto this week, I told my boss that I quit my job and bought 2 tickets for us to the Bahama’s But then I got home and you weren’t there.. I guess everything always happens for a reason.

So I really hope you will have the fulfilling life you seemed to be missing. Also my lawyer told me that the letter you wrote makes sure I don’t have to give you a dime from the 10 million. So take care and have a great life!

Signed, Your now Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and totally Free!

P.S. I never told you this I think, but my sister Carla you moved with was actually born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem for you…

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