Funny Jokes – Banned
Dear Mrs. Jokes,
Over the past twelve months or so, your husband has caused some commotion in our store. Since we cannot tolerate this behaviour we have been forced to ban your husband from our store.
Our complaints against your husband Mr. Jokes, include, but are definitely not limited to, all the complaints on the list below and are well documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. February 2: Your husband set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at 10- minute intervals.
2. February 15: He took about 36 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s trollies when they were shopping and not looking.
3. March 7: He made a long trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the toilets.
4. April 19: Your husband went to an employee and then told her with an official voice, “Code 5 in Homewares. Get your *ss on it A.S.A.P.”. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and later receive a serious reprimand from her Supervisor.
5. May 4: Went to the Customer Service Desk and tried to reserve a pack of biscuits.
6. June 14: Moved a “Caution – Wet Floor” sign to a carpeted area, which resulted in a customer slipping and falling over.
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR
Are you afraid you have an underdeveloped — or nonexistent — sense of humor? No problem. Humor can be learned. In fact, developing or refining your sense of humor may be easier than you think.
Know what isn’t funny. Don’t laugh at the expense of others. Some forms of humor aren’t appropriate. Use your best judgment to discern a good joke from a bad or hurtful one.
7. August 15: Sat in a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department – to which twenty children obliged.
8. September 3: Darted around the whole store suspiciously while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
9. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled “Pick me! Pick me!”
10. November 23: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
11. December 2: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.”
12. December 7: Parked his car in the trolley park:
Mr. J. Oaks, Store Manager