Table of Contents
Dumb Blonde Jokes Short
Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container for hours? Because it said “concentrate” on it.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign that said “Airport Left”? She turned around and went home.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.
How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender? She wanted to make apple juice.
Longer Dumb Blonde Jokes
Blonde Jokes about Blondes and the library
Burger & Fries
A blonde woman walks into a library and asks the librarian, “Can I have a burger and fries?”
The librarian looks at her confused and says, “This is a library, not a restaurant.” The blonde apologizes and whispers, “Can I have a burger and fries?”The librarian rolls her eyes and says, “I’m sorry, we don’t have any food here.”
The blonde whispers again, “Can I have a burger and fries?”The librarian, now frustrated, says, “Why are you whispering? I already told you we don’t have any food!”The blonde leans in and whispers, “I know, but I heard you can get in trouble for talking too loud in a library.”
Books on Paranoia
A blonde woman walks into a library and approaches the librarian at the front desk. She says, “Excuse me, do you have any books on paranoia?”
The librarian replies, “Yes, we do. They’re located in the thriller section.”The blonde nods and asks, “Could you also tell me if any of them will follow me?”The librarian chuckles and reassures her, “Don’t worry, none of the books in this library have the ability to follow you.
“The blonde sighs in relief and says, “Oh, thank goodness! I thought I was being watched by the books. They always seem to know too much!”
3 Short Blonde Jokes about the Library
Why did the dumb blonde bring a ladder to the library?
Because she heard Hogwarts had a “higher” education!
Why did the dumb blonde get kicked out of the library?
She refused to whisper and claimed she needed to be “loud and proud” with her reading!
How did the dumb blonde try to return a book to the library?
She put it on the roof of her car and drove around, hoping it would find its way back to the shelf!
Blonde Jokes about Blondes going Shopping
Blondes getting wet
Two blondes were shopping at the mall. After finishing their shopping spree, they headed out to their car, a stylish convertible with a luxurious leather interior.
However, they soon realized that they had accidentally locked the keys inside the car. In a moment of contemplation, both blondes stood there, pondering the situation.
Suddenly, one of the blondes had a brilliant idea and suggested using a coat hanger to unlock the car. She began fiddling with the lock while the other blonde, looking up at the sky, grew increasingly anxious and pleaded,
“Hurry, hurry! It’s going to rain, and we left the top down!”
Blondes like Flowers
While walking down the street, a blonde and a brunette pass by a flower shop where the brunette spots her boyfriend buying flowers. The brunette expresses her frustration, saying that her boyfriend buys her flowers for no reason and expects something in return.
The blonde questions why the brunette is upset, asking if she doesn’t like receiving flowers. The brunette clarifies that she does, but doesn’t want to engage in any physical activity afterwards because he always expects certain sexual favors for buying her flowers.
” The blonde then asks, “Don’t you have a vase?”
Blonde wants to buy a TV
A blonde woman enters a shop and inquires about the price of a TV located in the back. The shopkeeper responds by saying, “I’m sorry, but I don’t serve blondes.” Undeterred, the blonde leaves and decides to dye her hair brown.
The very next day, she returns to the shop and asks about the TV once again. The shopkeeper, still unwilling to serve blondes, gives the same response. Unfazed, the blonde leaves once more and dyes her hair blue.
On the following day, she returns to the shop for a final attempt. The shopkeeper, maintaining his stance, tells her that he doesn’t serve blondes. Perplexed, the blonde asks, “How can you tell that I’m blonde?” The shopkeeper replies,
“That’s not a TV, it’s a microwave.”
Blonde Alligator Boots
A blonde walks into a shop and wants a pair of alligator boots.
The shopkeeper informs her that they do not sell expensive items to blondes. Growing increasingly frustrated with the shopkeeper’s attitude, the blonde defiantly exclaims, “Fine, I’ll just go catch an alligator and make my own boots!”With a smirk, the shopkeeper responds, “Why don’t you give it a try, young lady?”
Determined, the blonde sets off to the swamp, fully committed to capturing an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper drives by and notices the young lady standing waist-deep in water, holding a shotgun. He stops and observes as a large alligator approaches her. With lightning-fast reflexes, she raises the gun and shoots the alligator, instantly killing it.
Continuing to watch, the shopkeeper sees her drag the alligator to a pile of six or seven more. As he rolls down the window to inquire why she needs so many alligators for just one pair of boots, she flips it over and shouts,
“Ahhh, this one’s barefoot too!”
Frequently Asked Questions The Blonde Jokes Way
Q What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Q Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
Answer: She heard the drinks were on the house.
Q How do you confuse a blonde?
Answer: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Answer: She kept throwing away all the W’s.
Q What do you call a blonde with a PhD?
Answer: A doctor, just like anyone else.